18 October 2010

Turning on the Faucet

Walking into the kitchen I expect to find four hungry faces filling themselves with lunch.  Instead I see them all bent over a puddle of water in the middle of the table.  This is nothing new, but now they're holding syringes and trying to pick up the water and put it back into Dawsy's cup.

I'm looking at them wondering, why not mop it up with a towel and get some water from the faucet? 

But I know I've been doing the same thing all week.  I've been gleaning bits of wisdom from this book and a little hope from that song, some energy from that cup of coffee and some extra determination from some blog post.  I look in my cup and there's not much to satisfy my needy soul. 

My mind's scattered in a thousand directions, my heart's listening to lies it ought not to, my words have little grace, and my emotions have control of me.

I remember the faucet.  All I have to do is open it up and let it flow...words of truth for my needy soul, healing salve for my wounded, misled heart.  Why don't I????

Last night I did what I often do when I just can't bring myself to lift the faucet...I curled in close to my good husband and asked him to speak the true words to me.  I know he's been learning some and he can share...he always is learning them.

He repeats words from a psalm...

"I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart.
I will set no worthless thing before my eyes;
I hate the work of those who fall away;
It shall not fasten its grip on me.
A perverse heart shall depart from me;
I will know no evil."

Ahhh, yes.  This is what I need.  What I always need.  And how thankful I am that it's always available...waiting for me to open it up and let it satisfy like nothing else.

photos: a fall hike through the woods, text: psalm 101

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