31 December 2011

Setting up the Pins...And Knocking Them Down

I've been longing quietly, deeply, steadily, for a passion.
A niche.  A specialty.

You probably have one or two or more, so don't know what I'm meaning.  But maybe there's someone out there like me, who, when all is stripped away, is mediocre at lots and good at nothing.  Okay, and bad at tons of things.

I pray.  I've sought out possibilities.  I have dreams, goals, hopes to delve into a specific something.
The new year always brings it out in me.  Is it time now?  Can I move forward?

While jogging the other morning to Sara Groves, my mind and heart were spinning with thoughts.  Could it be that it is time to pursue?  Where would I fit it in?

And the song in my ears...Everyone, everywhere, some way, some how, setting up the pins, for knocking em down.

Yes, my life is full, I pray.  There are many different headings in the newspaper of my life.  Can I add just one more?  The one that will fulfill, give me a sense of purpose, importance, status?  To be sought after for a skill?

It might sound simple but it's really profound...setting up the pins for knocking em down.

My searching heart calms as the dust of desire settles a little...through the dreams and hopes I can see my course again.  It's not time.  It may never be.  And then again, there may be a "yes" someday.

For now, though, I think through the titles in my life.  The ones the Lord has placed there, whether or not they were of my first choosing.

In each one, there are many ways to improve.  Like I said, I'm mediocre at everything.

Can I be a better child of God?  You bet.

Can I improve in loving and serving my husband?  No doubt.

How about building a relationship with my children, training them, helping them, loving them, teaching them?  Of course.

What about the position at my church?  Yes, much more skill needed here.

How about as a friend, a writer, a daughter, a sister, a homemaker, a pray-er?  Okay, now I'm already overwhelmed and I haven't even added anything new.

So I let go...maybe my desire for something else is a cover for the lack of skill I have in all the areas I'm already working at.  

Setting up the pins and knocking them down can be quite the challenge indeed.

My grandmother had a working song
Hummed it low all day long
Sing for the joy to be found
Setting up the pins for knocking em down.

This is my life right now.  I'm to be faithful at this job before me.  To expect things to continually be knocked down...and to work, with the strength of the Holy Spirit, at setting em back up!

photos:  holiday photos from 2011